Sit Still, Look Pretty

Some of favorite and most meaningful conversations with Sophia happen... in the car. On the way to and from school- we talk about everything from her day, to more serious topics- like endangered species ( the birth of our local zoo's rhino spurred this conversation). Sometimes, we listen to music and just the other day, this song was playing:

It should have come to no surprise when she asked what "the lady singing" meant. " So, we talked about how it doesn't matter how pretty you are on the outside, that what really matters is what kind of person you are on the inside. We talked about how someone can be really pretty on the outside but be really mean and not a good friend. She then told me that princesses are SO pretty AND they're good friends. So, we talked about how princesses try to do their best, work hard and speak up for what's right. We talked about how you can do ALL of these things as a girl.

She loves to get "fancy" but I want to teach her the importance of being kind, too

Then, I tried to explain to her that some people think girls should just be quiet and only look pretty. I told her that there are some people who think girls shouldn't get to do what boys do and that they shouldn't speak up for what's right. I went on to say that some people only expect girls to look pretty but not do anything else. I told her it's more important to be LOUD and NOT just sit still when things are happening around us that we aren't comfortable with. This concept was a little harder for her to grasp but I could just see the wheels turning in her head.

I absolutely love and cherish these little conversations we have together! There are days that Will does the drop offs and pick ups and I have to be honest as nice as it sometimes is to have a quiet ride home, nothing beats these car ride conversations. Nothing.

So, when she turns into a pubescent teen, I'll just make her go for a long car ride with me! =)

Happy Thursday! I'll be back tomorrow sharing my FAVORITE moments of the week!

Life Lately

Dear Blog, 

I've abandoned you. When I go to sleep at night, I hear, "throw, toss or keep," repeating itself in my mind. And black garbage bags? Don't even get me started. So, blog you see, I haven't abandoned you intentionally, it's just that life right now is consumed by all things packing. It seems as though the last seven years of my life are in question and for good reason. A box of old textbooks? A box of unused cords? WHYYY for the love, WHYYYY did we feel the need to keep these things?! 

Needless to say, blog, it's been a long time coming. It feels SO good to purge unnecessary stuff out of our lives. This truly will be a fresh start and we're so excited! 

So, other than cardboard boxes and packing tape, here's been life lately..

Life as 1st grader is pretty great! 

Can you say, Hobby Lobby? Loving these pieces for Sophias new room!

Celebrated 32 year old's birthdays

Packing, all the packing 

and all the cleaning out

*happy squeals*

Took a break from packing and spent the day at Adventureland! 

Boxes are great for sliding down the stairs with! 

It's starting to look bare here...

Cheering for the Cyclones sometimes is painful but we still do it and love the team immensely! 

House Divided ❤️💛⚫️ 

Excited to decorate for our new house! An inspiration pic for an outside table potentially! 

So, that's life lately! Thanks for reading!! 

30 Things I've Learned in 30 Years...

It's that time of the year again when I start to reflect on life and where I'm at. Do I like the direction life is going? What have I learned? Where am I going? Birthdays never seemed like a huge deal in the past.. just another day and another excuse for cake (like I needed an excuse) but this year feels a little different. I am turning THIRTY guys. THIRTY. Ohmygoodness. I can't even believe it. I can't believe I am THIRTY which is only five years away from 35 which is a mere hop, skip and jump to 40! Catastrophizing at its best. Thanks  to my fellow co worker, Jessica for defining that for me. #therapistproblems 

Anyway, now that I am one year wiser, I'd like to share the thirty things I've learned so far about this imperfect, perfectly messy and beautiful life of mine. Here goes nothin'. 

1) Eat the cake. Seriously. Life is too short to NOT eat the freakin' cake. Or ice cream. Or both- what the heck! Indulge yourself. It's ok. 

2.) Fear is good. It means beautiful things are about to happen. Embrace the fear. Go with the fear. If you aren't scared out of your ever loving mind- something's wrong. Just go with it and watch beautiful things happen. 

3.) Be intentional. I think that should have been my word for 2016. Being intentional in positive thinking. Intentional on choosing happy. Intentional on being kind. Intentional in my responses to family, friends and my kids. 

4.) You need friends. Those 24/7's. Your people. They're almost as important as the air you breathe. It's all about quality vs. quantity, here too.

5.) Chips and salsa is a meal

6.) Being comfortable in your own skin and owning everything about yourself is a process. But as each year passes, it gets easier and easier

7.) Find your thing. You know, the thing that lights a fire within you. The thing that you can't go a day without doing. For me- it's writing and reading.

8.) Some people are assholes. Simple as that. No complex diagnosis. No complex explanation. Just an asshole. And you know what? That's ok.

9.) Getting financials under control is definitely not the most glamorous. But it's important, even if you think you have all the time in the world. Just get it over with and get those finances on track!

10.) You can only control your reaction to certain people and situations. Once you realize this, your life will become a whole lot simpler.

11.) Travel is good for the soul. It rejuvenates you and opens your eyes to the ways we as humans are much more alike than different.

12.) Reacting vs. responding. Two VERY different things. Learning how to differentiate between the two and then acting accordingly can be so.hard. But I'd go as far to say it can be life changing once you know the difference and see it play out in your life.

13.) We all have stuff. Everybody has a story. Taking the time to know their story and getting below the surface, you will only find you connect and empathize with them on a deeper, newer level

14.) Pinterest.(and yes, that is it.)

15.) Even though you are close to 30, it's ok to still jam out to MMMBop and Spice Girls

16.) It's a total cliche. But family is family. They are the constant in life. No matter what, Crazy Aunt Susie will always be Crazy Aunt Susie and you wouldn't have it any other way.

17.) Listen to your gut. Always, always. It will always tell you what direction to go.

18.) Always keep learning. About the world. About yourself.

19.) Less is more (in every sense)

20.) From Brene Brown: "I'll never know if people are doing the best they can or not. But when I assume people are, it makes my life better."

21) Goals. Make them.

22.) You can't please everyone and that's ok

23.) Being vulnerable doesn't make you weak. It facilitates change, compassion and connection

24.) Comparison is the worst.

25.) Invest in staple items in your closet. It is worth the money.

26.) You might like those amazing heels but your feet don't. So quit trying.

27.) Say yes

28.) It's ok to use your kids as an excuse to get out of something

29.) Wait to worry. "The average worrier is 92% ineffecient- only 8% of what we worry about ever comes true." Fred Smith

30.) Love and live with your whole being.

There you have it! The 30 life lessons I've learned in life so far. What would you add?

Happy Friday and Happy Birthday to ME! =) 

Birthday Weekend Recap (And some exciting news!)

Hey guys! We celebrated Sophia's SIXTH birthday on Saturday. She flamingoed and swam and had so much fun with family and friends! We truly have some of the best family around- some hosted the party at their pool and helped get decorations, others came from 6 or 7 hours away and some helped with ensuring no one drowned and everyone was safe while swimming. AMAZING family! We are truly beyond blessed.

So I'll quit babbling and just get on with it... here are the pics of the party. I don't have a lot as most of the time we were in the pool. 

BIRTHDAY GIRL!! 

Ready to party!

We're missing a little lady in this picture... 

This girl is EXTREMELY BLESSED

 FLAMINGOed OUT!

Again, THANK YOU to everyone who made it the party and helped us celebrate Sophia. She had such a fun time!

We have been sitting on some exciting news but just haven't shared it publicly yet. After a lot (like 3 years) of deliberation and consideration we decided to sell our townhome! It officially went on the market yesterday! We are so excited about this but with returning from Italy, planning a birthday party and getting a house ready to sell- things have been a little crazy around here. We are trying our best to maintain a routine for the kiddos as much as possible with showings (we've had two and one scheduled already!) and going to see homes as well. For those who know me, know that this is a BIG decision for me! I'm not a HUGE fan of change and this is a BIG change for our family. 

We love our townhome but are missing a backyard area and 3rd bedroom. We hope to find a home that is comparable to ours but with those main features. Wish us luck! =) 

Soooo, if anyone knows anyone who is looking for an amazing townhome in an even more amazing location- share this link with them! =) 

5 Ways Being a Therapist Has Impacted My Parenting

I get asked by a lot of people, "What exactly do you do?" Some of these questions are from family members, friends, etc. So this post is sort of a 2 for 1 deal. I work at an agency that provides substance abuse and mental health services. I have experience as both a substance abuse counselor and a mental health therapist so I am able to see clients who struggle with one or the other, or both. I am licensed in the state of Iowa to practice mental health therapy and work with children, adolescents, adults and families. Areas of interest for me are without a doubt substance abuse and trauma. I am going to be participating in a training in the Fall for EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)- a type of therapy practice/tool effective for trauma but also so much more! I am SO SO excited for this opportunity as it has been on my professional development goal list for a long time now.  I absolutely love what I do and know that the work I do is sacred and has fully changed me. 

Now, onto the next part. The title of this post is how being in this field has impacted my parenting. Here, I will talk about just a few ways I've noticed that my professional life gets mixed in with my personal life with a little humor and seriousness. So here goes! 

1.) My kids are really in touch with their feelings

Both my girls can identify feelings and while coping with them is always a work in progress, they sure can identify and label feelings like noone's business. At 3 years old, Sophia was telling me, "You're angry mom, take a deep breath."  They also can correct me if I label their feelings wrong, for example, I will identify a feeling for Sophia and she will correct me by saying, "I'm not angry I'm sad." On Sophia's first day of Kindergarten, she told me, "Mommy, I feel scared and my tummy feels scared too." *cue heart melting*

2.) Going into "therapist" mode

I tend to go into a therapist mode with my kids or even family members. My mom and sister have joked between them, that I'm in "therapist mode." Active listening, paraphrasing/summarizing, validating, observing and reflecting feelings are key components to a therapy session but are also skills that I use in my everyday life with the people I love! Sorry kids, you probably won't really enjoy this part as much when you're teenagers! 

3.) Overanalyzing

On the other side, because I am knowledgeable of different mental health struggles people face everyday, I can tend to overanalyze situations/people. If Sophia has challenging behaviors, I tend to read too much into them and my worrying goes into overdrive- maybe she has social anxiety? Selective mutism? Schizophrenia? (An exaggeration but hopefully you get my drift.) I am also more attentive and alert to possible developmental delays- which isn't always a good thing because if I'm not conscious about it, it can overwhelm me. When I'm watching a movie, I am really analyzing and diagnosing. I can't really enjoy movies or shows anymore because of this. And it also annoys my husband. =)

4.) Gratitude

I hold onto my kids extra tight at night when I come home. I soak up their hugs, kisses and I love you's a little more now. I practice gratitude every. single. day that I wake up and get to live another day on this earth. I know without a doubt, being in this field has impacted my whole self and it has shown me how quickly things can be taken away with one single decision. One choice is all it takes. When you have clients sitting on the other side of your desk, who struggle to get their basic needs met or they're in the fight of their lives to regain custody of their children, it changes you. 

5.) Enjoy the small things

Goes along with practicing gratitude but I know that those "small things" like early wake up calls from Saidey or weekends spent in pajamas and watching movies, are the moments that make up this imperfect life of mine. I treasure those small moments and take a minute to close my eyes and soak it all in. 

So, there you have it! 5 ways that being a therapist has impacted my parenting and life in general. Has the work you do professionally changed you personally? 

March Goals

Ummmmm.. February?? Where did you go?! Seriously. I feel like I was JUST writing a post about February goals! Anywho... it's time to share my monthly goals. And also share some completely unrelated pictures because melt my heart, they're just too precious not to share. =)

Let's recap last month's goals:

1) Make an OB appointment- CHECK, completed, DONE. NOW, I remember why I stalled on getting this done. No fun. But I feel better knowing it's done. Until next year! 

2.) Valentine's for school and daycare- CHECK! I felt like I was back in school but it was fun to help Sophia write out her Valentine's and sort through her bag of goodies after her party.

Teacher gifts 

 I know, it's tilted. Just go with it

3.) Organize- Semi Check

This goal will be on my list for a few months probably as it's a big task. I have the pantry, linen closet, entry closet, and basement storage area I want to tackle. I did sort through clothes for Saidey for Spring/Summer and started to make a list of things we need- so that felt good. But the other areas? No progression. 

4.) Plan for Italy- Semi Check

We've made progress, let's just say. There are still things that need to be worked out but at least we have a very GENERAL plan. And can I say, that NOW I am starting to get REALLY excited for this trip?! But also, a little nervous leaving the girls for 10 days... 

5.) Haircut- FAIL 

Hopefully, in the next two weeks, I will get in for a cut!

She asked me everyday this week, "When are we going back to Grandma's to see Bella?"

Meeting Bella, safe to say they're in LOVE 

Now, for MARCH goals

It's a super busy month. It feels like each month is just getting busier and busier. Such is life when Spring/Summer comes around. Wait- who am I kidding? This is our life.

1) Organize- I should probably aim to tackle just ONE area, otherwise it's just too overwhelming. 

2) HAIRCUT- TRISH, I'm coming at you in the next two weeks! Promise!

3)Saidey's birthday- order invites, figure out cake, food? See- so much to figure out

4) Easter plans- Saidey's birthday is RIGHT on Easter weekend- not ideal at all. But I need to start getting Easter basket stuff ready and figure out what we're doing Easter Sunday.

5) Focus on my blog- I'm failing, I used to do at least 2-3 posts a week and lately, nada. Zip. I get down on myself for not posting but know that I'm doing the best I can. But this month, I'm going to make an agenda and stick to it (hopefully).

So, BRING ON MARCH! 

Join me back here Friday for Friday Favorites- Birthday Parties, where I will recap all the parties we've done for the kiddos.

February Goals

It's been a few months since I've shared my monthly goals with you all. It's a new month, though and a fresh start! Is anyone else having a hard time believing it's already February?! I mean, January- where did you go?! February is an awesome month for us as we have a lot to celebrate! My sister's birthday (2/2), my mom's birthday (2/15), and of course, Valentine's Day!

But, as we enter February, I am reminded once again, that time is not really my friend. I wrote this post last year, on my birthday. I've realized that the time is ticking away and I still have 29 things on my list of TO DO's. OY VEY, overwhelming, much?!

So, without causing a mini heart attack, these are my February goals

1) Make an OB appointment. Guys! For some reason, it hit me the other week that since I had Saidey, I haven't been into my OB for a check up?! No bueno. So, that is at the top of my goal list for the month!

2.) Valentine's for school and daycare. Guys, I stress myself out but I love, love Valentine's and coming up with creative ideas for non candy Valentine's. These were the Valentine's from last year

and yes. this took for.ever.

 For the teachers!

Check out my Pinterest board for more Valentine's Day inspiration!

3.) Organize
Currently, I have our hall closet, linen closet, pantry, and storage area in the basement that I want to completely redo and organize. This is a big one and will probably be on the list of goals for a few months but I hope to tackle one area at a time.

4.) Plan for Italy
Ok, guys, we leave for Italy in July and I've done ZERO planning. I've been getting emails from other family members about their hour to hour itinerary and I'm over here thinking it's still December. Major fail. So, I hope to carve out a weekend night to hit my tour books and do a little research. Anyone been to Italy? Any recommendations?? And GO!

5.) Haircut
I'm probably the most indecisive person I've ever met in regards to my hair. Do I want it short? Long? Highlighted? Purple? Heck- let's just shave it and call it good! In all seriousness, I do need a trim even if I haven't decided if I want to keep it short or grow it out. #firstworldproblems, I know!

Ok, guys, those are my February goals. Let's see how I do! Happy Friday!

Weekend Recap

Hey Monday, like always you came too soon. This weekend was just what we all needed. Full of relaxing and pajama wearing all day.

We started the weekend out right by getting adjusted:

The girls love seeing their chiropractor! Perhaps we have a future chiropractor on our hands?!

Friday night was our weekly Friday Night Pizza Night- we ordered from one of my favorite pizza places- Red Rossa. While we ate, we watched Inside Out.

Saturday morning was slow going. We searched for Peppermint, checked the advent calendar and ate breakfast. After breakfast, we decided to decorate the gingerbread village that Peppermint brought Friday. The girls went into sprinkle and frosting overload:

Look at that concentration!

After we'd sprinkled, frosted and decorated, we finally got out of our jammies and headed to Target to grab a few things. We spent too much time and money in Target and picked up lunch and headed home.

And our best purchase from Target, this tree that we put in the girls' room! Love it!

Holiday cheer!

We hung out in the basement for the rest of the afternoon- the girls played/watched movies/rested. We finally rose from the depths and headed to my mom's house to visit for a little while. We took Odin with us so the pups could have a little play date.  The girls started out playing really well and my mom asked if they always did this. She must have jinxed them because about twenty minutes before we were getting ready to leave, they were arguing. Someone took something from the other which resulted in lots of "NOOOOO's" and crying and pouting. #sisters

After dinner, I looked over to see this: I knew they were so quiet for a reason!

Sunday was spent cleaning, working on laundry and finishing up some Christmas shopping online. While the girls played, I was able to address our Christmas cards and start on some Shutterfly projects. Have I mentioned that uploading 800 photos takes a long time? Also, did I mention how much I despise photo projects but love the end result. So, I keep punishing myself year after year.

We were pretty lazy Sunday afternoon, staying in our jammies all day. It was the best kind of day. And I get it, we're realllly boring.

This girls did a little bit of this....

And then this...

And this...

#lifestyleoftheboringandlazy

We don't really have anything planned for the week- I am the guest reader at Sophia's school on Friday afternoon, then we have Will's work holiday party for the kids Friday afternoon, and Sophia has a birthday party for one of her classmates on Saturday morning. Also, is it a little pathetic of how excited I am to pick out a book to read to her class? Oh the decisions! There are SO many good books to choose from, I don't know where to start! ANY suggestions???

P.S. And can I just say, I'm sort of wishing I had somewhere to wear these fabulous pieces to... I'm kind of loving them!! But, sigh, I have nowhere to be that would require such a thing..

P.S.S. After all my struggles and debates of what I want to do with my hair, I have decided to let it grow out! I've had shorter hair now for the better part of three years and decided it's time for a change. Check out my hair inspiration below. For those who knew me in college, I had a frightful run in with boxed hair color and tried to go blonde. This time, I will go to a hairstylist and do it the right way!

So, that really is it for today guys! Join me back here on Friday for Friday Favorites!! Have a great week!