Sit Still, Look Pretty

Some of favorite and most meaningful conversations with Sophia happen... in the car. On the way to and from school- we talk about everything from her day, to more serious topics- like endangered species ( the birth of our local zoo's rhino spurred this conversation). Sometimes, we listen to music and just the other day, this song was playing:

It should have come to no surprise when she asked what "the lady singing" meant. " So, we talked about how it doesn't matter how pretty you are on the outside, that what really matters is what kind of person you are on the inside. We talked about how someone can be really pretty on the outside but be really mean and not a good friend. She then told me that princesses are SO pretty AND they're good friends. So, we talked about how princesses try to do their best, work hard and speak up for what's right. We talked about how you can do ALL of these things as a girl.

She loves to get "fancy" but I want to teach her the importance of being kind, too

Then, I tried to explain to her that some people think girls should just be quiet and only look pretty. I told her that there are some people who think girls shouldn't get to do what boys do and that they shouldn't speak up for what's right. I went on to say that some people only expect girls to look pretty but not do anything else. I told her it's more important to be LOUD and NOT just sit still when things are happening around us that we aren't comfortable with. This concept was a little harder for her to grasp but I could just see the wheels turning in her head.

I absolutely love and cherish these little conversations we have together! There are days that Will does the drop offs and pick ups and I have to be honest as nice as it sometimes is to have a quiet ride home, nothing beats these car ride conversations. Nothing.

So, when she turns into a pubescent teen, I'll just make her go for a long car ride with me! =)

Happy Thursday! I'll be back tomorrow sharing my FAVORITE moments of the week!

30 Things I've Learned in 30 Years...

It's that time of the year again when I start to reflect on life and where I'm at. Do I like the direction life is going? What have I learned? Where am I going? Birthdays never seemed like a huge deal in the past.. just another day and another excuse for cake (like I needed an excuse) but this year feels a little different. I am turning THIRTY guys. THIRTY. Ohmygoodness. I can't even believe it. I can't believe I am THIRTY which is only five years away from 35 which is a mere hop, skip and jump to 40! Catastrophizing at its best. Thanks  to my fellow co worker, Jessica for defining that for me. #therapistproblems 

Anyway, now that I am one year wiser, I'd like to share the thirty things I've learned so far about this imperfect, perfectly messy and beautiful life of mine. Here goes nothin'. 

1) Eat the cake. Seriously. Life is too short to NOT eat the freakin' cake. Or ice cream. Or both- what the heck! Indulge yourself. It's ok. 

2.) Fear is good. It means beautiful things are about to happen. Embrace the fear. Go with the fear. If you aren't scared out of your ever loving mind- something's wrong. Just go with it and watch beautiful things happen. 

3.) Be intentional. I think that should have been my word for 2016. Being intentional in positive thinking. Intentional on choosing happy. Intentional on being kind. Intentional in my responses to family, friends and my kids. 

4.) You need friends. Those 24/7's. Your people. They're almost as important as the air you breathe. It's all about quality vs. quantity, here too.

5.) Chips and salsa is a meal

6.) Being comfortable in your own skin and owning everything about yourself is a process. But as each year passes, it gets easier and easier

7.) Find your thing. You know, the thing that lights a fire within you. The thing that you can't go a day without doing. For me- it's writing and reading.

8.) Some people are assholes. Simple as that. No complex diagnosis. No complex explanation. Just an asshole. And you know what? That's ok.

9.) Getting financials under control is definitely not the most glamorous. But it's important, even if you think you have all the time in the world. Just get it over with and get those finances on track!

10.) You can only control your reaction to certain people and situations. Once you realize this, your life will become a whole lot simpler.

11.) Travel is good for the soul. It rejuvenates you and opens your eyes to the ways we as humans are much more alike than different.

12.) Reacting vs. responding. Two VERY different things. Learning how to differentiate between the two and then acting accordingly can be so.hard. But I'd go as far to say it can be life changing once you know the difference and see it play out in your life.

13.) We all have stuff. Everybody has a story. Taking the time to know their story and getting below the surface, you will only find you connect and empathize with them on a deeper, newer level

14.) Pinterest.(and yes, that is it.)

15.) Even though you are close to 30, it's ok to still jam out to MMMBop and Spice Girls

16.) It's a total cliche. But family is family. They are the constant in life. No matter what, Crazy Aunt Susie will always be Crazy Aunt Susie and you wouldn't have it any other way.

17.) Listen to your gut. Always, always. It will always tell you what direction to go.

18.) Always keep learning. About the world. About yourself.

19.) Less is more (in every sense)

20.) From Brene Brown: "I'll never know if people are doing the best they can or not. But when I assume people are, it makes my life better."

21) Goals. Make them.

22.) You can't please everyone and that's ok

23.) Being vulnerable doesn't make you weak. It facilitates change, compassion and connection

24.) Comparison is the worst.

25.) Invest in staple items in your closet. It is worth the money.

26.) You might like those amazing heels but your feet don't. So quit trying.

27.) Say yes

28.) It's ok to use your kids as an excuse to get out of something

29.) Wait to worry. "The average worrier is 92% ineffecient- only 8% of what we worry about ever comes true." Fred Smith

30.) Love and live with your whole being.

There you have it! The 30 life lessons I've learned in life so far. What would you add?

Happy Friday and Happy Birthday to ME! =) 

What I Want My Mom To Know on Mother's Day

I've thought for a few weeks about how I would approach writing about Mother's Day. I thought I might write about my own journey into motherhood but then I decided to instead, write about my mom and the things she has taught me. There are so many lessons I have learned from my mom that it is hard to narrow them all down to write about in this one blog post. I've written this before, but my mom and I have had our struggles- mostly because I didn't know how to express my feelings and communicate with her- and maybe the same went for her as well. I was dealing with things that had happened and didn't know how to deal with them, so I turned inward, blocking everyone out, including her. Despite not turning to her when I should have, my mom taught me so much about life and without a doubt has made me into the person I am today.

I learned the true meaning of unconditional love, being open minded and accepting (and not just tolerant) of all, of what it's like to forgive and give second chances, of being selfless, and seeing the good in others. As I've gotten older and started my own family, I've made decisions that sometimes my mom doesn't always agree with. Whether we agree or disagree, I can count on my mom to keep it real with me and bring me back from the clouds if I need it. Recently, we were talking and she mentioned how I don't need her anymore. I want to let her know, along with anyone else reading this, that at no point in one's life will they NOT need their mother and how far from the truth that comment was. I still need and WANT a mom. I still want and need her to give me reality checks and tell me like it is- I might not always like it or agree with it but I want to hear it, I NEED to hear it. And I also want to let her know that just because I've decided to parent in different ways than I was parented- doesn't mean I think the way I was parented was wrong. In fact, she has taught me how to make smart decisions, based on what is right for yourself and your family- period. She showed me what it is like to do what works for your family and that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. That's the lesson she taught me. So maybe, I've decided to cloth diaper or breastfeed and she didn't. She provided me the chance to become independent and confident in making those choices. And although different than what she had decided, definitely not better or superior.

As I've gotten older, I think its been an adjustment from the mother-daughter relationship we had to mothering a daughter who has started her own family. But on Mother's Day and everyday, I want my mom to know how much I love her and appreciate everything she has ever done for me. And that I still need her, even if I don't act like it. I also need her to know that our relationship is always going to be in progress- never perfect but again, as she has taught me- she will be there for me no matter what. Even if we don't agree about something. And that's what family is all about.

And to my amazing mother in law, Mary- I am so blessed to have you in my life and for accepting me into your family. I have to thank you for raising an incredible son as well as loving me like your own.

Happy Mother's Day