When I was a sophomore at Iowa State University, I was taking a class within the early childhood education track. I can't for the life of me remember which class it was or even what the professor's name was. I do remember though, her saying that she doesn't believe in making a child say sorry after he/she has done something. At the time, I didn't think much of it until recently.
Frequently, while visiting child care centers one of the most common things I hear is "Say sorry to him/her." after the child has done something to another child. You know what the most common thing kids say to the teacher? It's either "no" at which they get sent back to time out or told again to say "sorry" or it's an "I'm not going to look at the person I am saying sorry to but really fast say imsorry". and then return to playing. Or even better yet, I am going to hit/push you but immediately yell I'M SORRY! But then ten minutes later hit you again.
As you can see in all of these situations, the term "I'm sorry" really loses its true meaning. I definitely want Sophia to say sorry when she has done something to someone else but I want her to WANT to say sorry and not just because an adult is standing over her shoulder making her say sorry in order to get out of time out. I want Sophia to learn that by saying sorry doesn't make everything alright. I want her to know that if she says sorry she then has to back that up by actions. You know, not just talkin' the talk but walkin' the walk.
I want to encourage my daughter to be a kind, caring young lady and so I will definitely encourage her by asking her how we can help make him/her feel better, in hopes that she reaches to the conclusion that saying sorry along with a hug might make someone feel a little better. But I want her to come to that conclusion on her own and I want her to be sincerely sorry, and not use it as a "get out of jail free" card.
So, if you see us at the park and Sophia does something to your child, you may or may not get a "sorry" out of her. And now you know why :)
